Could these TV characters afford their Miami homes today?
Miami has one of the hottest real estate markets in the country. People around the world are keeping tabs on the market, everyone from seasoned buyers to students are cashing in on the luxury condo trend and not even Hurricane Irma could perturb the sunny state of affairs in area real estate. Put simply, people just want to live here. Maybe that’s why so many television shows are set in Miami.
Although South Florida real estate varies vastly from private-island pads in the Venetian Islands to Miami Beach penthouses to modest, single-family homes in Doral, ownership isn’t exactly cheap. But for many of the shows set in Magic City, homes appear to be more affordable, especially when considering a character’s presumed income. So, we’re taking a closer look at some of TV’s most popular shows set in Miami to find out whether or not certain characters — from Dr. Christian Troy of “Nip/Tuck” to Jane Villanueva of “Jane The Virgin”— could actually afford their homes (or houseboats, in the case of “Miami Vice”).
For our methodology, we determined the approximate cost of a home or residence used in a TV show. Then, using Glassdoor’s salary guide and Salary.com, we ballparked that character’s earnings. Finally, we factored that information into Smart Asset’s home affordability tool to see if they can afford their home.
Granted, this approach doesn’t account for large down payments, investments, and inheritances (hello, Blanche Devereaux), so take it with a grain of South Beach sand. As for professions, we looked at a character’s most recent or most identifiable job to determine our findings.
“Nip/Tuck”

Residence Type: Luxury condo, presumably penthouse
Location: Intracoastal views; probably Miami Beach
Approximate cost: $2.6 million
Profession(s): Christian Troy, plastic surgeon
Salary: $372,407
COULD HE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
Yep. And he’d even have extra money leftover to hire a maid, all the better to clean up sketchy activities and remnants of myriad “sleepovers.”
“Dexter”

Residence Type: Mid Century modern condo
Location: Bay Harbour Island in Miami Beach
Approximate cost: $215,000
Profession(s): Dexter Morgan, blood spatter analyst
Salary: $82,500
COULD HE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
Bloody right he could. Dexter’s condo is a real place in Miami, at 1155 103rd St., and one of the units recently sold for $215,000 (no word on any blood vials stashed away in the A/C unit). But we’re not completely sure about that boat...
“Empty Nest”

Residence Type: Five-bedroom, two-story contemporary
Location: Likely Coral Gables
Approximate cost: $2.4 million
Profession(s): Dr. Harry Weston, pediatrician
Salary: $146,000
COULD HE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
If his adult daughters are helping with the mortgage, maybe. But Harry’s living large on a single income, especially at his age — he might consider moving in with the Golden Girls next door (they could use the help).
“Golden Girls”

Residence Type: Four-bedroom ranch
Location: In TV land, it’s right next door to Dr. Weston’s; thus, probably Coral Gables
Approximate cost: $1.9 million
Profession(s): Substitute teacher (Dorothy Zbornak), TV station assistant (Rose Nylund), art museum assistant (Blanche Devereaux), small-time spaghetti sauce entrepreneur (Sophie Petrillo)
Salary: $25,827 (Dorothy) + $37,851 (Rose) + $37,851 (Blanche) + $10,000 (Sophie) = $111,529
COULD THEY AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
Barring Blanche’s presumed inheritance from Big Daddy, no. Even with several residents splitting the monthly mortgage payment, these fierce, fabulous ladies would be better off looking somewhere more affordable. Maybe Allapattah? Of course, they always have the Golden Sands Hotel to lean back on ...
“Jane the Virgin”

Residence Type: 2-3 bedroom bungalow
Location: Likely Doral or Miami Springs
Approximate cost: $318,000
Profession(s): Aspiring writer, hotel lounge manager (Jane Villanueva)
Salary: $14,063 (bartender)
COULD SHE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
Not based on her salary, much of which would go toward caring for Mateo. However, Jane’s grandmother, Alba, is a retired nurse, has lived in the house for decades, and presumably owns it — meaning Jane may just be living rent-free. Un milagro!
“Miami Vice”

Residence Type: Houseboat (erm, houseyacht)
Location: Wherever the tide takes him
Approximate cost: $100,000
Profession(s): James “Sonny” Crockett, undercover police detective for Metro-Dade
Salary: $60,307
COULD HE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
If we’re talking the houseboat only, yes. Crockett’s St. Vitus Dance is an Endeavor 42 yacht, and there’s one available in Charleston, S.C. for $99,000 (notwithstanding the fact that it’s as out-of-date now as the TV show’s wardrobe). However, that regularly featured party house on Key Biscayne would require a lot of shady dealings to secure. It was on the market in 2012 for $22 million, while the home in the 2006 “Miami Vice” movie costs $75,000 a month to rent.
“Ballers”

Residence Type: Two-story modern, luxury home
Location: Golden Beach
Approximate cost: $12.5 million
Profession(s): Ricky Jarret, NFL wide receiver
Salary: $4 million and up
COULD HE AFFORD THIS HOUSE TODAY?:
With the help of former pro Spencer Strathmore recommending a large down payment, Jarret could definitely afford this home (Joe’s shady business tendencies aside).